
Musk is quite possibly the most accomplished bullshit artist in history. His fragile ego guards his lips against the truth at all costs, and he has manipulated this trait to pipe billions of dollars into his own greedy pockets. For a while, he appeared to be self-aware about this characteristic, so he enforced that his engineers break their backs trying to bring his deranged myths to fruition. Sometimes, these plans worked, such as with the Model 3 and Falcon 9, and the engineers’ success painted Musk as a visionary genius. But other times, reality got in the way, as with the Hyperloop, Cybertruck, Twitter, Starship, 4680 cells and “Full Self-Driving”. These public and abject failures revealed the truth that Musk is nothing more than a moronic lying grifter. But Musk can’t accept that fact — he drank his own Kool-Aid by the gallon. After all, it’s not his lies that are the problem; it is these engineers who built his empire that are the idiots. So he ignored them, undermined them, and overruled them. He took the very thing that made his empire tick, its very foundations, and shot it in the head. Now, it is just a corpse being puppeteered Weekend At Bernie’s-style by an egotistical ketamine-drenched kleptomaniac donkey. And there is no better demonstration of this than Tesla, with recent leaks pumping the air with putrid smells, making its death an unavoidable truth.
Sound hyperbolic?
Well, back in 2022, Musk publicly stated that robotaxis and fully autonomous driving are “the difference between Tesla being worth a lot of money or worth basically zero.” And he is right.
If you value Tesla with a similar P/E ratio to other car companies with similar EV technology, its value drops tenfold. In fact, because Tesla sales are plummeting and it is riddled with so much debt, valuing it like this could easily place the company into negative equity (read more here). In other words, if Tesla is valued exclusively as a car company, it is literally worthless.
However, corporate investors like Cathy Wood’s Ark Invest have made some wild, unfounded speculations about Tesla’s self-driving future. They believe robotaxis could add $613 billion to Tesla’s revenue by 2027 and make it worth 11 times what it is today. That would make Tesla worth twice as much as Apple, currently the world’s most valuable company.
Turning Musk’s decades-long lies about the Cybercab’s self-driving capabilities into not just reality but a wildly profitable reality is crucial for Tesla.
Leaked internal analysis recently confirmed Tesla’s status as a barely animate corpse. This report came from Rohan Patel, Tesla’s former head of business development and policy, who left the company last year. He found that even if, by some miracle, the Cybercab could work (which it absolutely can’t; read more here), it would lose money hand over fist.
It wasn’t just the fact that the Cybercab doesn’t meet self-driving safety standards or that such standards aren’t in place in most markets, making this kind of product impossible to launch. No, it was also Musk’s idiotic business plan. You see, rather than owning the Cybercabs and renting them out, he wants to sell them to the public for $30,000. But he also expects most sales to be to fleet operators, and that most people would give up owning a car for robotaxis. And, despite selling them, Musk also expects Tesla to get a small cut of each robotaxi ride.
This is just a confusing mess. Firstly, the Cybercab is based on the $43,100 Model Y, so selling it for $30,000 isn’t going to make any profit. However, it also makes far more sense for Tesla to own and operate them itself. Not only would this be theoretically far more profitable, but it would also make liability obvious in the case of a crash. After all, if someone bought a Cybercab, and it caused a crash that gave someone life-changing injuries, who is at fault and liable, the owner or Tesla? Considering Tesla’s own data suggests that FSD fatally crashes at a rate ten times higher than a human driver, this is a major issue. On top of this, the fact that Musk wants to “get a small cut of each robotaxi ride” suggests that he wants to charge any Cybercab owners per trip. In other words, after spending $30,000 on your steering wheel-less and pedal-less car, you then have to fork over more money every time you want to use it. Otherwise, it is just a huge, ugly paperweight. Oh, and Musk can massively price-gouge users here, as he has done multiple times in the past. So why would a consumer, or even a taxi operator, opt to buy this over a regular car?
Unsurprisingly, Patel’s internal analysis found that the Cybercab would likely be a sales flop and not make any money from sales or operations. Instead, his report to Musk heavily suggested Tesla should forget the Cybercab and focus on more affordable EVs, as they are a significantly more fruitful path.
Patel has been with Tesla since 2016 and was crucial in developing Tesla’s battery and drive train technology and making the company finally profitable in 2020. Without Patel and his colleagues, Tesla wouldn’t be half as successful as it is. They are the actual brains behind the company.
So what did Elon do? He threw out the report, cancelled the affordable EV project, and doubled down on Cybercab.
Even those in the upper echelons of Tesla knew that they were unable to deliver on Musk’s lies and that the Cybercab would completely fail to meet market expectations and face certain death. Patel wanted to protect Tesla. Sure, abandoning the robotaxi project would mean Tesla wouldn’t become the most valuable company in the world, but a well-selling affordable EV would still make the company viable. But Musk’s fragile sense of self and egregiously inflated ego couldn’t take it. So, rather than face the ridicule, he killed Tesla by ignoring Patel and pushed him and his colleagues out of the company. And now, all he is doing is piloting its corpse in a desperate hope we won’t notice something is wrong.
Tesla is already dead. It’s only a matter of time before the wolves are at the door.
Through it all, I am reminded of the tale of the frog and the scorpion. Musk can’t help but lie and let his monstrous ego make all the decisions. He is a pathetic narcissist and that is all he will ever be. He is the scorpion, Tesla is the frog, and his destructive nature will drown them both.
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Sources: Futurism, The Information, Reuters, Futurism, Will Lockett, Will Lockett, Will Lockett, Will Lockett, CNBC
Thanks Will - the line "egotistical ketamine-drenched kleptomaniac donkey" cost me a really nice t-shirt that I spit my coffee all over - totally worth it
Big time payback time from karma for the Ketamine Addict NAZI Muskrat!!!