Tesla's Robot Is Utterly Pathetic

Trillion-dollar oportunity? Yeah right.

Tesla Optimus — Tesla

We are all getting a bit tired of Musk’s nonsense by now. Like an inadequate child claiming his dead-beat dad is actually an astronaut, he has been spouting demonstrably false techno-fantasies for decades now. Sure, he paid overworked engineers to produce EVs and self-landing rockets, but these concepts were already proven to work in the 90s. Everything else which falls out of his mouth, from Mars bound rockets, to vaccum trains, to self driving cars, to even his video game ability is all pure weapons grade bullshit. However, one example of his hogwash stands heads and shoulders above the rest: Tesla’s AI-powered robot, Optimus. Musk claims it will cost $30,000 when it eventually hits the market, and will rake in trillions of dollars as it replaces workforces across the globe. Musk couldn’t be more wrong if he tried, and this is yet more evidence he should stay off the drugs and fire the yes-men.

Let’s start with a recent video Tesla shared of Optimus, seemingly showing significant progress. Past versions have done nothing but shuffle around like my nan waiting for a hip replacement, or be pupeteered by interns functioning on nothing but coffee and desperation. A far cry from the do-it-all robot Musk promised. But this video showed Optimus doing a very jumpy dance while tethered to the ceiling (watch it here), before it stops abruptly, seemingly because it was about to tip over backwards. Such a manoeuvre is incredibly difficult and is a giant leap forward from where Optimus was just a few months ago.

But, this is only impressive if you live your life in the Musk bubble. Optimus isn’t even catching up to the competition in the real world. Over a decade ago, Honda’s ASIMO was doing far more controlled hops and jumps, totally untethered (watch that video here). Boston Dynamics had a far more complex robot doing repeatable backflips on uneven ground while untethered eight years ago (read more here)! Their latest robot can walk, run, jump, breakdance and interact with the complex world around it with such grace, precision and accuracy that it just looks human (watch more here). Now, sure, that robot was exponentially more expensive than Optimus. However, UniTree’s G1 is designed to be a similar commercial humanoid robot, and they recently showcased it performing repeatable sideways flips while untethered (watch the video here). And you can buy the G1 now for half what Musk promises to eventually sell Optimus for.

If Tesla unleashed Optimus in 2009, it would have been mildly impressive. But now, compared to the competition, it’s utterly embarrassing. It demonstrates how little technological understanding or advantage Tesla has.

But that isn’t really the problem here. Honda, Boston Dynamics, and Unitree all know that humanoid robots are actually a bit useless, and more of a technical demonstration than an economy-shattering revolutionary tool. Something Musk definitely didn’t get the memo on. Indeed, anyone with even a passing understanding of robotics will know that a humanoid robot is the worst solution in any scenario. As such, Musk’s obsession with them is not just perverse but also demonstrates his fundamental lack of knowledge. Let me explain.